- his hair
- he ordered a ham and cheese sandwich
- he's tall
- he likes one person a lot
- he's funny
- he has a nice smile
- he's a creature of habit
Monday, September 20, 2010
Reasons Shawn reminds me of Jim Halpert
Monday, September 6, 2010
Drama Mama
So, I like a little gossip as much as the next person, I can't even help it. I am one of those people that reads the police reports and obituaries, that wants to hear all the gory details but then immediately wants to forget them. It's not that I thrive off of people getting hurt or terrible things, because really after hearing stories like that, I feel terrible that it happened, I just can't help but be attracted to actually HEARING the story. It really does not make any sense because I am the biggest wuss imaginable. Complete chicken shit. And you better believe every minute after hearing whatever grusome story I was told, I'll be imagining the many ways it could fit into my life, or happen to me. So there really is no point whatsoever.
Anyway, this got completely off topic. What I really was thinking about was the ridiculous amount of drama there was in high school and how I do not miss it. Yup, good one Jessica, the two thoughts are completely related. I've been drawn to this gigantic fight between these girls and this guy that are in high school. (see what I did there, now it's related) And I mean, thats what made me think about not missing high school, but really, some of the things these people are saying to each other are just downright horrible. I NEVER took it that far, and I could never imagine saying any of these statements to someone I considered a friend. Things like: "I hope you die" "You're an extremely fat midget" and "You sleep around, are an alcoholic, a bad influence on your sisters" or "You're a tranny with bad hair"
Now I'm not a prude by any means, but this just strikes me as SO horrible. Especially the first one, I don't think that throwing around death is really even on the realm of a high school fight. I don't even say that about my worst enemies! I don't think I'd say that about any human being! And stooping down as low as to critique the way someone is built? My fights never even got that far. Not only that but the topics of sleeping around, being an alcoholic..all things I didn't really even know about in high school. It just makes me wonder if kids really are becoming worse off every year. I mean don't get me wrong, these people can actually seem to be really intelligent at times. But stooping as low as to say any of those statements, not just to anyone, but to someone you used to call a friend? It just blows my mind. And makes me glad I'm not in high school.
I am certainly counting my lucky stars to have such lovely friends. I really got lucky, man. They are beautiful, FULLY ALIVE (and I wish them to stay that way), caring, beautiful people. I wouldn't have em any other way than the way they are.
Anyway, this got completely off topic. What I really was thinking about was the ridiculous amount of drama there was in high school and how I do not miss it. Yup, good one Jessica, the two thoughts are completely related. I've been drawn to this gigantic fight between these girls and this guy that are in high school. (see what I did there, now it's related) And I mean, thats what made me think about not missing high school, but really, some of the things these people are saying to each other are just downright horrible. I NEVER took it that far, and I could never imagine saying any of these statements to someone I considered a friend. Things like: "I hope you die" "You're an extremely fat midget" and "You sleep around, are an alcoholic, a bad influence on your sisters" or "You're a tranny with bad hair"
Now I'm not a prude by any means, but this just strikes me as SO horrible. Especially the first one, I don't think that throwing around death is really even on the realm of a high school fight. I don't even say that about my worst enemies! I don't think I'd say that about any human being! And stooping down as low as to critique the way someone is built? My fights never even got that far. Not only that but the topics of sleeping around, being an alcoholic..all things I didn't really even know about in high school. It just makes me wonder if kids really are becoming worse off every year. I mean don't get me wrong, these people can actually seem to be really intelligent at times. But stooping as low as to say any of those statements, not just to anyone, but to someone you used to call a friend? It just blows my mind. And makes me glad I'm not in high school.
I am certainly counting my lucky stars to have such lovely friends. I really got lucky, man. They are beautiful, FULLY ALIVE (and I wish them to stay that way), caring, beautiful people. I wouldn't have em any other way than the way they are.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Oh, reckless abandon, like no one's watching you.
Lately I find myself looking back at things I have done and thinking "why on earth did I do that?" I suppose that this is quite a normal thing, if it weren't for the fact that these are things I've done recently.
It's extremely frustrating to realize that you have acted in ways that do not correspond to the person that you think you are/that you want to be. I consider myself a loving person, a caring person, someone that thinks about others feelings, but I've realized that a lot of my actions recently and in the past most definitely do not advertise that.
So it comes down to: am I just generally a different person, but have chosen to see myself in a different way that makes me feel better about myself/ignore my shitty actions? Or am I the person that I've always thought I was, but have overlooked others feelings by being self-absorbed and only thinking of myself?
I'm going to go with the latter, because I prefer not to think of myself as a complete asshole. I know I care about my friends, my boyfriend, my family, I love them, I care about their feelings, but I'm realizing sometimes I let myself get in the way.
I think sometimes I get afraid of putting others feelings first. Cause I want to be living for me, doing the things I want to do. But in reality, it's a respect thing. I'm obviously not going to change myself for the people I love, cause they should love me for who I am. I need to differentiate and realize that doing certain things because they mean a lot to someone I love is entirely different than letting someone take over my life, make my decisions for me- I have been thinking about this in too extreme a way, probably because it's what I'm afraid of- getting too consumed in one person and losing myself.
The moral of the story is I need to start thinking about what I'm doing before impulsively acting, physically, without realizing the consequences, realizing if this is really important/helping me at all, or hurting people I love, or myself. I'm all for being impulsive, but there comes a time when it's too much.
It's extremely frustrating to realize that you have acted in ways that do not correspond to the person that you think you are/that you want to be. I consider myself a loving person, a caring person, someone that thinks about others feelings, but I've realized that a lot of my actions recently and in the past most definitely do not advertise that.
So it comes down to: am I just generally a different person, but have chosen to see myself in a different way that makes me feel better about myself/ignore my shitty actions? Or am I the person that I've always thought I was, but have overlooked others feelings by being self-absorbed and only thinking of myself?
I'm going to go with the latter, because I prefer not to think of myself as a complete asshole. I know I care about my friends, my boyfriend, my family, I love them, I care about their feelings, but I'm realizing sometimes I let myself get in the way.
I think sometimes I get afraid of putting others feelings first. Cause I want to be living for me, doing the things I want to do. But in reality, it's a respect thing. I'm obviously not going to change myself for the people I love, cause they should love me for who I am. I need to differentiate and realize that doing certain things because they mean a lot to someone I love is entirely different than letting someone take over my life, make my decisions for me- I have been thinking about this in too extreme a way, probably because it's what I'm afraid of- getting too consumed in one person and losing myself.
The moral of the story is I need to start thinking about what I'm doing before impulsively acting, physically, without realizing the consequences, realizing if this is really important/helping me at all, or hurting people I love, or myself. I'm all for being impulsive, but there comes a time when it's too much.
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