Oh, reckless abandon, like no one's watching you.

Lately I find myself looking back at things I have done and thinking "why on earth did I do that?" I suppose that this is quite a normal thing, if it weren't for the fact that these are things I've done recently.
It's extremely frustrating to realize that you have acted in ways that do not correspond to the person that you think you are/that you want to be. I consider myself a loving person, a caring person, someone that thinks about others feelings, but I've realized that a lot of my actions recently and in the past most definitely do not advertise that.
So it comes down to: am I just generally a different person, but have chosen to see myself in a different way that makes me feel better about myself/ignore my shitty actions? Or am I the person that I've always thought I was, but have overlooked others feelings by being self-absorbed and only thinking of myself?
I'm going to go with the latter, because I prefer not to think of myself as a complete asshole. I know I care about my friends, my boyfriend, my family, I love them, I care about their feelings, but I'm realizing sometimes I let myself get in the way.
I think sometimes I get afraid of putting others feelings first. Cause I want to be living for me, doing the things I want to do. But in reality, it's a respect thing. I'm obviously not going to change myself for the people I love, cause they should love me for who I am. I need to differentiate and realize that doing certain things because they mean a lot to someone I love is entirely different than letting someone take over my life, make my decisions for me- I have been thinking about this in too extreme a way, probably because it's what I'm afraid of- getting too consumed in one person and losing myself.
The moral of the story is I need to start thinking about what I'm doing before impulsively acting, physically, without realizing the consequences, realizing if this is really important/helping me at all, or hurting people I love, or myself. I'm all for being impulsive, but there comes a time when it's too much.

You know you're in a committed relationship when you find yourself taking two of everything when leaving a party.

This seemed a whole lot more clever/funny when it was 5 am and I hadn't gone to bed yet, but I'm still laughing.